so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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