I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We don't watch enough power rangers
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
