Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
