Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
