he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have already put on my inside pants.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
