i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
