Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
