Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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