Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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