I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
