May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
