I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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