Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
