found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
