Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
