Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
