check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize