I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
