A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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