Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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