are you still at the devil's house?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
