I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
