Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
