I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
