Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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