i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
