I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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