But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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