Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
