how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
