PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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