That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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