my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
