You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
