Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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