you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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