Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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