you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
