$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
