yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
