So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
