the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Everclear isn't food dammit
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
