I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
