So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
