Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
