this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
