just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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