Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
