It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
