so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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